I Never Thought I Was Beautiful As A Child, Beverly Naya Writes On How She Struggled To Be LovedBy cheatmaster 08:26 Thu, 24 Aug 2017 Comments
I've come a long way from the little girl who was bullied for having really bad eczema, crooked teeth, a 'lightbulb head' and 'football legs'. I never thought I was beautiful as a child and once I hit my early teens, I found myself overcompensating for my lack of self esteem. I wanted to please in every way to the detriment of my own happiness...this carried on into my early twenties when after two years of living in Nigeria, I nearly completely lost myself trying to fit in and be understood/liked. I guess growing up as an only child has partly attributed to my reserved nature. I'm an introvert when you first meet me but an extrovert when comfortable, most times socially awkward on first encounters (first few encounters in some cases lol) but my heart is always in the right place...I'm not perfect. Continue...
I think I only truly found myself last year, I stopped trying to make people like me, stopped trying to force people to see the real me...the funny me, the happy and bubbly me, the caring me. I realised that only those who are genuinely supposed to be in my life would always be the ones who get to see this. I only realised last year that you can't force people to like you, neither can you dumb down/change who you are to be accepted. I'm not perfect but God thinks I am and He knows it's been an emotional battle to get my mind to where it is today, but I am so incredibly grateful and proud of myself for the woman I am becoming...I say becoming because I don't believe any of us are there yet, I don't think we ever stop growing into our purpose, but the journey (if you allow it to happen without manipulating it) truly is beautiful.
If I could speak to my younger self, I would tell her:
I love you so much. You are beautiful, you are worthy, you are a gift from God and you are enough.
The very words my mum has told me since I was a young child, the very words that went in one ear and out the other...the very words that with time, experience and growth; I wholeheartedly understand and accept today.
Moral of the story: I hope you overcome all your challenges, I hope you look beyond the opinions of others and remember the fact that God and your soul are always rooting for you...you owe it to yourself to not only be the best version of you, but to give yourself the very best treatment because no one can love you better than you can. Be your own kind of beautiful, love always.
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